Owz that ...???

Well, if we were down South (like Mississippi, Alabama or Louisiana in the US), it might be "How 'bout them dogs?" Yes, I watched a cricket match today on the telly. It only took David about 20 minutes to explain the basics of the game and it's sort of like baseball but not exactly -- there are two batters, no bases and fly balls are the easiest way to strike somebody out -- though there are hundreds of ways to get the guy out. Here's the basic explanation http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cricket for those of you who have few days off or a burning desire to understand game strategy.

For any of you who might have read Bill Bryson's "In A Sunburned Country" -- you'll recall his hysterically funny commentary on pages 105 to 108 about listening to a cricket match on the radio as he drove between Canberra and Adelaide. Here's just a smidgen ...

"After years of patient study (and with cricket there can be no other kind) I have decided that there is nothing wrong with the game that the introduction of golf carts wouldn't fix in a hurry. It is not true that the English invented cricket as a way of making all other human endeavors look interesting and lively; that was merely an unintended side effect. I don't want to denigrate a sport that is enjoyed by millions, some of them awake and facing the right way, but it is an odd game. It is the only sport that incorporates meal breaks. It is the only sport that shares its name with an insect. It is the only sport in which spectators burn as many calories as players -- more, if they are moderately restless. It is the only competitive activity of any type, other than perhaps baking, in which you can dress in white from head to toe and be as clean at the end of the day as you were at the beginning."

Yes it's true -- they are as white at the end of the day as the beginning.

It's a bit more interesting to watch and now having watched a few 'innings' -- see I told you it was like baseball -- I'm beginning to get the hang of it a bit. Except it takes 10 outs to get the opposing team up to bat -- I know a few baseball teams who could do wonders with a 10 out option! It really is the national pass-time here, just like baseball, and as I have traveled around downtown Sydney, there are several park areas that have giant screens up and everybody comes out to watch cricket and have lunch or a break. See just like with baseball.

For the past several weeks -- maybe months given the length of each test -- the Australians have been playing the English -- the Poms -- and beating the daylights out of them for the most part. They've been playing for The Ashes which is supposedly the ashes of English cricket, and of course, the Australians have been winning this match for a long time now, though England did take The Ashes in 2005.

Here's my favorite source's take on the whole Ashes thing -- check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ashes and you'll learn everything you ever wanted to know about this rivalry that began as a joke and has now turned into serious competition between the two countries. For all the latest cricket news, which I know you can't wait to read, check out http://www.cricinfo.com/.

There's also a small crisis going on in Australian cricket as at then end of this year's final Ashes test -- three of the top cricket player are retiring -- ladies man and team bad boy Shane Warne, Justin Langer, who suffered a concussion from a ball in the head last year in his 100th test, and hearthrob Glenn McGrath.

Now let me tell you ladies -- they don't do a lot of running in cricket but these guys are in great shape and very easy on the eyes if you know what I mean! I can see where the crisis is -- they're going to lose about half of their female fans when these three are no longer on the field.

In truth -- none of the guys on these cricket teams are hard to look at ... they are all in great shape and I don't know about you -- but I like my men dressed all in white -- especially when they stay neat and clean, which is so entirely possible in cricket.

The other thing about cricket is the score -- imagine a baseball game with 362 runs -- yeah -- what a thought! But everytime someone gets a hit it's worth 4 runs and if it goes out of the field like our home run -- it's worth 6 runs! The only downside to this whole thing that I can see is that the team has 11 men and when they've all batted then their inning is over -- it doesn't just roll over to the first batter like it does in baseball.

Now, they've got all kinds of terminology that I don't understand -- but the crowd sure seems to appreciate what the announcers are saying because they are all hooting and hollering. For the novice and seasoned fan there is even a "Dictionary of Cricket" and for American's check out "The Devil's Dictionary of Cricket" for cricket terms with a little spice at at: http://www.nakedwhiz.com/crickgl.htm .

And Bill Bryson is so right when he talks about the game having meal breaks -- as one test goes on for three days -- and you can get awfully hungry in a three day period. In fact, I'm getting hungry just thinking about sitting through a 3-day test. Hmmmm ... time for some fish and chips -- cheerio, old chums!